a call to rest

boy has this been a running theme lately! it's so humbling to look back over this past year and see where daily abiding in Christ was sorely lacking in my life. i think all future Octobers will remind me to take a good hard look at my heart...at my motivations...at my energy levels...at my marriage....and lay them all before the throne of grace. I've had the air knocked out of me several times this year and yet continued to live as if it were up to me to get over it, fix it, just one foot in front of the other. way to suck the joy right out of life, jenny! in a way, I think I looked at the cross and said 'must be nice, but that's not for me.'
because isn't that what Christ did? dying so that we can approach the throne of grace DAILY. dying so that we can lean on the Father's everlasting arms when getting out of bed is too much. dying so that the Spirit can point us to the only Counselor we need. dying so we may live with hope. trudging through life one step at a time denies the gift we were so freely given. Christ daily extends His arms of rest to me, yet I shrug resolutely, turn and continue to just function with these shifting burdens that only I can bear.
this command to rest is just that. a command. it matters not how you rest, it just matters that you do. in resting daily, submission comes more easily. submission to the work, submission to parenting well, submission to my husband, submission to Christ. when I sense God's presence in my daily life, I more quickly yield to Him. I see His desires for me and my family more clearly. I can taste His goodness and love, something I have seemingly pushed away and refused at the banquet table so many times.
and yet, this abiding remains a discipline. ugh. that word. but there is freedom there. breathing prayers quickly when my anger begins to boil. saying no to life-draining things so that I can say yes to life-giving things. reading the Word and asking the Spirit to show me application. and always always knowing that it is He who works in me and through me, and will use me even when I screw it all up...because of His great love for me.
abiding and resting in Christ sometimes calls for physical breaks. perhaps there is a season for us to take steps away completely from people, from commitments, from ministries. but I am convinced more and more that Christ's words to us are spoken under the assumption that we are already doing the work He set before us. abide and speak life to another. rest and labor with only His strength. all while knowing His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

'it is not the doing of some great thing and does not demand that we first lead a very holy and devoted life. no, it is simply weakness entrusting itself to a Mighty One to be kept--the unfaithful one casting self on One who is altogether trustworthy and true. abiding in Him is not a work that we have to do as the condition for enjoying His salvation, but a consenting to let Him do all for us, and in us, and through us..' Andrew Murray, Abide in Christ